NMR ISSUE 54

Aspect in Astrology
Bardic Source Book
Because I am a Witch My Love
Blessing for a Child
Complete Book of Spells, Curses
Earth Magic
Fetish Stones
Finding Your Totem, Discovering Your Guardian
Gleanings 54
How to Use Magick with a Straight Face
Kingdoms of the Faerje Realm
Language and the Doctrine of Signatures
Mountains, Meadows and Moonbeams
New Twist on Tinctures
On the Invocation of Eris:
Pagan Nudity
People of the Earth:
Shapeshifter Tarot
Teen Witch:
The Great Spirit Goddess
The Lore of the Oak
The Samhain Host: Remembering the Dead
The Sun Goddess:
The Well of Remembrance:
To Light a Sacred Flame:
Worship of the Goddess: The Lost Art

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Because I Am A Witch,

My Love

By Paul Beyerl

Because I am a Witch, my love, I will not be like any other lover you may have had. My outlook on life is different, and so are the habits I arrange about my calendar. First of all, I have a deep love for the Earth, Herself, and there may be nights you see me gazing at the Moon, and when I describe my vision to you, it is likely to begin, "Isn't She…?" For I cannot look at that beautiful sun-lit orb of the nighttime sky and not see it as feminine. You think it odd that I would attribute to the moon a human quality? Even more, for I see Divinity permeating all the things of nature about us. There are likely to be times that you will see me talking to the trees, the squirrels, even the rocks for in my view all things are infused with life and being.

Sometimes it is confusing for you, as my sexuality is a bit different than others you have known. I seem both stronger and yet gentle, and it both confuses you and yet attracts you. This is, my love, because I orient my belief system to polarities, and in a sense, I see the Universe in manifestations of Yin and Yang and also of God and Goddess. When I was a child and being raised in the religion of my parents, they told me "We are all created in the image and likeness of God." Yet when I looked about me, I could only begin to believe that God must be both masculine and feminine, and to be a Witch means that I worship (that's certainly an odd word in the English language!) the fertility of nature. One of the mysteries is that magick and creativity are the products of the coming together of the feminine principle and the masculine principle. In a stereotypical fashion, we may see the mundane manifestation of this in your parents creating you and your mother giving birth to you. I feel that I must be well balanced internally, yet on a particular Full Moon I psychically reach out and bring these energies into myself, (which must sound peculiar to you) I might be roaring with leonine energy and on another feeling a need to be held and delightfully cuddled.

I am unlikely, my love, to ever be consistent and yet there are those things about me which will never change. My word is good. I practice a religion in which, "Witches are only as good as their words," and as I have grown as a Witch, having been initiated into this religion over six years ago [now 25 years, ed.], I have heard myself slip and I made corrections. I am a very honest, good and loving person. I can be trusted and I will not violate your trust.

I know you are fascinated with me, for you have told me so. There is a sense of magick about me? Well, Witches do study magick. It is one of the systems of belief we use to understand a symbolic ordering of the Universe and its functions. And magick works. Remember the night we met? It certainly wasn't by chance... and there was the night you told me you felt I have a certain power. I guess I must admit to that, for as Witches we study power, even though we know that we can not use our ability to manipulate any one nor harm any thing. Those are strong ethics, for I am non-violent. Yet I know I have a power. I cannot enter a room without being noticed, and you find that attractive in me.

I live an odd schedule. As the attraction between us continued to grow, you found it cumbersome to find me having all-manner of odd times when I was not available to see you. Now you have grown more comfortable with the patterns and even use them to keep track of the Moon cycles, yourself. It is an amazing process. I know that it has been difficult for you, my love, for I discuss my religion almost never. That is because I have no desire to convert you. I can only love you as you are and you must always make your own choices in life. And when I am off to my `sacred rites' as you call them, we do celebrate in ritual. It is not for spectators for a ritual only works well when all present are participants. We create a chain, in a manner of speaking, in which our power as a group is only as good as the weakest link. For someone untrained, it would be like hooking them up to electricity, for we do work with energy and it is not wise to bring someone untrained in contact with it.

Do you love my goodness, my love? I was not always good. I have gone through many periods of growth and shed a large collection of horrendous habits. My love for the Earth has made it difficult for me to eat creatures that have been killed and yet, in a sense, my herbs and vegetables have been `killed.' You notice that I have never lied, and am cherished by those who know me for my honesty. That is a direct result of my Witchcraft training. As I grow and continue to mature, I am a Priest of the Goddess of the Earth more and more, and in time found that I no longer functioned with foreign chemicals in my body.

Because I am a Witch, my love, those vows we would take I would consider sacred and binding, if you were to agree to make a commitment to a relationship. Once made, I would then be your lover for at least the rest of this life. I would consider even taking vows that would last beyond this life... Remember the experience you had when you projected out of your body? That is what death is like. I know, for I have experienced my death. When? When I experienced the life in which I was executed by hanging for practicing herbal magick. It was exhilarating. And I know that I am likely to be killed for the practice of my religion again in some future lives. It is inevitable, for I am an `alternative' person. I know that my spirit is truly indestructible. This, this is merely the baggage within which I carry my soul. I am glad you enjoy it so much, and that it brings the both of us such pleasure for I certainly take joy in your body, but, our greatest love is the sharing of the spirit of joy and sharing that between us. My soul is eternal.

Because I am a Witch, my love, when I say I shall love you forever, I can mean it. I have seen `forever' and oftentimes in my rituals I gaze into it. These are odd and quite complicated concepts, but remember how you said you feel I am wise and knowing? That has grown from these experiences.

Because I am a Witch, my love, and because I love you, I cannot talk about it but rather ask that we both trust the feeling as I take you in my arms and feel you hold me, as we pull ourselves down into bed and arouse and caress. As you and I become the thunderstorm which rises on the horizon. As you and I become the Sun and Moon and dance in the magick of our lovemaking. Because I am a Witch, my love, our lovemaking shall be ecstasy.

From the Hallows, 1998 edition of the Unicorn, originally published in the Hallows 1983 issue. Author Paul Beyerl is the publisher of The Unicorn which is celebrating its 25th anniversary with a contest for artists, authors and poets. For more information contact Beyerl c/o The Unicorn, a publication of the Rowan Tree Church, PO Box 691, Kirkland, Washington 98083-0691 USA