Demeter and Persephone

As we begin the New Year, it is customary to review the past year and assess where we have done well and where we can improve. New Year's resolutions are what usually result. We are going to lose weight, quit smoking, exercise more, be more loving, thoughtful, etc. It is very easy, as everyday life sort of rolls over us, to let these resolutions go by the way. We've all done it (admit it!). I know I have. Some things are easier to manifest in our lives than others. But what would happen if our New Year's resolutions were (dare I say it?) FUN! What about a resolution to have more good, clean, Pagan fun in the coming year! Aren't rituals fun? What are some practices and rituals families, including children, can do? How should children be included? Can you have a Pagan ritual or celebration in your everyday life? With a little creativity and perhaps a slight shift in your perspective, you probably can.

At the top of my list for the New Year is to get up and greet the new day, just to open my consciousness to the possibilities. This isn't a huge, elaborate big deal. I get up, put on a pot of coffee, and while it brews, I go outdoors and light a bit of incense. Then I sit, facing east, and watch the dawn (or during daylight savings time, appreciate the morning sunlight — I'm NOT a masochist!). I quietly bless the day and greet the God and Goddess. Then I go in and drink my coffee and get ready for work. See? No big deal. No circle, no invocations, no preparations (except for the incense). Perfect for kids! Get up, go outside, say a morning blessing, get on down the road. You can expect children to grumble a bit, at first, if they are getting up a little earlier to do this. You may even feel like grumbling some yourself, if you're not a "morning" person. But as it becomes part of the routine, it is less and less bothersome. And you won't believe what a difference that little bit of time makes. Just the few minutes to center, focus a bit, and welcome each new day — with all its possibilities — can make a more positive frame of mind. And if you're one of those annoying "morning" people, you can have a family breakfast. I can only manage to do that about once a week (if I'm lucky!). Oh well, there's always next year for THAT resolution. You have to start with something reasonable. Getting up and creating a positive frame of mind is good for this year. Who knows where it could lead? Exercise? Weight loss? It makes my head swim!

Another ritual we are all familiar with is the concept of saying "grace" at a meal. Mealtime blessings are wonderfully Pagan! How about a blessing like, "For the bounty we receive from you, Mother Earth, we give thanks. May we be mindful to use its energy well." If you pack your children's lunch, how about a little handwritten blessing for them? "Goddess keep you well today", or "I'm sending you all my math energy today for your test." Now, trust me, for us non-"morning" people, notes in lunches takes a little planning. Try writing them the night before, and leaving them on your altar to charge them over night. Otherwise, it's something you can do as you watch the sunrise, and charge in the incense smoke. And as long as we're talking about blessings, what about good-bye blessings? "Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again" was one my children enjoyed when they were younger. If you think about it a bit, there are all kinds of everyday little Pagan things to do in your family.

What about the "bigger" rituals? The High Holy Days. These create a very special magick when celebrated at home, in your family, or with other Pagan families, too. Celebrating outdoors is ideal, if possible. However, weather can be prohibitive, and moving indoors can work quite well. I like celebrating outdoors because I like feeling the natural world around me. When you celebrate the holy days with your family, it takes some planning. You need to decide if you are going to follow something out of a book you like or to write your own. Books save time (and that can be helpful) and homemade rituals can be crafted to your particular family members' maturity levels and values. I am a strong advocate of letting children participate in ritual if they want to and are able. I wouldn't necessarily recommend a five-year-old to "center" a ritual, but I certainly would not exclude them altogether. He or she certainly could sweep the circle, or pass cakes and ale, or help decorate the altar. Small children can add their voices to "Blessed Be!" Older children, if they are so inclined, can be given the responsibility of doing some of the "liturgy," calling a quarter, or blessing the elements. I usually prefer an adult to center a ritual, but as my children get older I'm finding that my ideas about that are shifting too. Some children at fourteen or so have the skill to direct the energy raised in a circle. Some don't. The nice thing about doing a ritual with your children is that you are very aware, in a more personal way, of their abilities, unlike working or celebrating with friends or acquaintances.

There may be the occasion where there will be non-Pagan people at your celebration. A lot of Pagan folks are not inclined to do a full on "casting a circle" ritual when there is a mixed group. This can afford younger children the opportunity to take more active roles in the celebration, since the energy is more low-key. It is very charming to hear the littler ones give invocations for the elements or summon the watchtowers of the quarters. I have found the holidays for this time of the year to be delightful for including younger children. Even older children have an appreciation for how cute the "God and Goddess" of the spring equinox are when they are seven or eight years old. Here is a ritual for the spring equinox:

Maiden (youngest child — girl, if you have one) "sweeps" the circle, either figuratively or literally, depending on her age and the location of your circle. Explain to her ahead of time that she will be making all the old energy and memories go away from the circle. No family barbecue memories in this circle!

The next youngest child can take salt water and "cleanse" the circle by sprinkling the salt water around the area. This is like washing it and making it sparkling clean.

The next youngest child (by now we should be approaching the "oldest") can take the incense and smudge or consecrate the circle. Changing the scent of a place changes the atmosphere — literally!

The oldest child or whoever will be the high priest will draw the circle around the celebrants using a sword, athame, flower, or even her or his finger. By now everyone should be where they will be standing for the ritual. The oldest child or the high priest says: "The circle is cast. We are between the worlds."

_(If you are celebrating with a mixed group, you can skip all the previous stuff.)

The adults can invoke the elements. If you write your own ceremony, you can put it into language younger ones can appreciate, too. Something like:

Creatures or earth. I call you to our circle. Help us make the changes real. Blessed Be!

Then the God and Goddess can be invoked by the adults. Most adults will be able to make a suitable invocation, along the lines of:

Gracious Goddess and Laughing God, we ask you to join our circle as we come together to honor You.

The High Priestess says:

I am Demeter, Goddess of the earth's fruitfulness. I have a daughter, Persephone. She is very beautiful. One day Hades, the God of the Underworld, came and took her away and made her be his lady in the kingdom of the dead. I can't find her anywhere. I've looked and looked. I've been so sad that I can't make the trees bear fruit, or the grain ripen. I can't even warm the earth. There is snow everywhere and I am so sad. Can you help me find her?

About now, whomever is going to be Persephone should go around behind people and surreptitiously give them flowers to hold. After a few people have flowers, Demeter should notice.

No, but we have felt her presence.

Or words to that effect. Demeter should catch up to Persephone when she gives the last person his or her flowers. There should be great joy. Hugs and kisses could be in order (if "Persephone" isn't too "cool").

Demeter should say:

I'm so happy to have found you! Flowers bloomed in your footsteps and I followed them. All the plants will bloom again to celebrate. I will always miss you when you are gone, but Life will always return to the world when you return!

In a mixed group, this can quickly and easily degenerate into a game of "tag" until the meal is served. If a circle is cast, Cakes and Ale should be charged. This is a good opportunity for some of the young adults to participate. "As the seed is to the soil, so is this blade to the cup," is particularly apropos on this occasion for charging the wine, but whatever conveys that meaning and works in your particular tradition is just as good. After cakes and ale are passed around, the God and Goddess can be bid farewell in a similar manner in which they were greeted, and the elements dismissed, also in similar fashion. And don't forget, "Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again!" That was my children's favorite part!

As we look forward into the new year and the season of fresh starts, Spring, try to make the little moments count as well as the big ones.