NMR ISSUE 41

And Ye Harm None
Astrological Forecast 41
Candlemas Ritual
Editorial 41
Elephant
Esoteric Symbology of the Tarot
Flora Faery
Hummingbird
Letters 41
Moon
Mother Earth
Mythic Image
Perseverance
Spirit Doll Charms
The Big Book o' Shadows
The Kabalah in Everyday Use
The Legend of the Maiden
The Magic of Receiving
The Wise Woman Energy
Walking into Animal Presence
Weekend with Hans

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Pagan Parenting: The Big Book o' Shadows

By Amanda Cummings

I am on occasion asked to recommend books that deal with parenting in a Pagan/Wiccan frame of mind. It has been very hard to do so, because there are very few books around with that focus. There are even fewer geared specifically towards children. However, I'm happy to say there are some worth checking out.

Some parents are very active when it comes to teaching their children a Pagan lifestyle. Some of those who are Wiccan look at this as a responsibility of parenting. This is quite understandable. For those of us who were raised to be Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, etc., we realize that our parents saw our spiritual welfare as their responsibility as much as our physical, social, mental and emotional well-being. There are Pagans out there right now who consider this when they are raising their own children.

For those of you committed to actively teaching your children Wicca, there are a few books out right now you might want to consider. One of these I recommended in an earlier article some time back and will recommend again: Family Wicca, by Ashleen O'Gaea. She speaks very personably from her own experience and devotes time to answer some of the more difficult questions like, Is magic safe for children?, and How do other families handle the holidays? She spends time talking about answers she has offered to her child about death, sex, and things like Why do some people think Wiccans are Satanist?

Ashleen is a strong advocate of children learning to practice magick at a very early age (some of her examples are for preschoolers). She relates stories of her son's active participation in circles, and in leading circles as he got older (he is now twelve). Her book has a lot of fun, witchy projects to do as a family. There are ideas for Wiccan Advent calendars, community service projects, and a very nice (and brief) commentary on the Charge of the Goddess. Her book also includes rituals for an entire solar cycle and some rites of passage. In addition, she touches briefly upon the lunar celebrations. You will also find some interesting teaching ideas for one on one interaction, such as simple magick and spells for children, using the common objects of a child's every day life (just as we use many common every day items to work magick), and some wonderful guided meditations (you know? stories!). If this is your family's focus you will find this book very helpful and a welcome reference.

The next book I can suggest is WiccaCraft for Families by Margie McArthur. This is a more recent book and in many ways more practical than Family Wicca. This book assumes you have decided some of the ethical questions Ms. O'Gaea goes into and focuses more on the practical end of celebrations and rites of passages. There are myriad craft suggestions, recipes, and songs (including music). This book is also geared toward families with older children. It also is ideal for celebrations with other families as well. I've found this adds to the festive feeling of celebrations, and allows children and adults as well to develop peers. This book concentrates on the practical aspects of practicing a Wiccan lifestyle, and includes the celebrations of the holidays and moons and primary rites of passage. It is a lot of fun and full of great ideas.

The last of the purely Pagan/Wiccan books I will recommend is The Pagan Family: Handing the Old Ways Down by Ceisiwr Serith. Of the three, this book is the most religiously based. It offers a bit of philosophy and practical ideas (such as recipes and crafts), but is more about religious practice as a family. It looks at how to make your religious life part of your family bond. This is done, in part, by prayer, family guardians and shrines, and an understanding of how Pagan living affects all we do. Explanations and instructions are included for all the above and rituals for the festivals and moontides as well. The book devotes a full chapter to teaching children. And it focuses on rites of passage more thoroughly than any other book I've seen for family practice. By attempting to internalize what we as Pagans do, and by offering suggestions on how to help our children internalize these values as well, this book in particular goes a long way for those parents wishing to instill religious values and practices in their children.

For those parents who prefer teaching a particular mind set, or ethic, instead of a particular religion to their children, there is a very useful book you can find more geared to your parenting experience: Meditation for Children; Pathways to Happiness, Harmony, Creativity and Fun for the Family, by Deborah Rozman, Ph.D. Originally published in 1976, a new edition was released in 1989. This is a much more esoteric handbook, more focused on centering and balance of the adult and child as a whole, and the family as an interrelating unit. The discussion begins with What is meditation? And moves on to such topics as how we can be better parents by exercising mental control of ourselves, how meditation can help improve self-esteem and communication, both in internal and external levels, for children and adults in a family. It touches on such ideas as levels of perception and awareness, solving family problems, and exploring life together. This book also discusses basic philosophies of energy, concentration, and the interrelationship of all things.

The chapter Meditating with Children gives age appropriate ideas for different age groups from the very young (prenatal to five years old), to six- to ten-year-olds, to eleven- to fifteen-year-olds, and of course helpful hints on integrating these different levels into a family meditation. There are different meditations which we may be familiar with such as the You are Light meditation, or the We are One meditation. There is another whole section of the book that has terrific basic Yoga for children with step by step how-to's (so necessary for us adults).

Two other books, both lighter than the ones listed above, are Mountains, Meadows, and Moonbeams: A Child's Spiritual Reader, by Mary Summer Rain, and Exploring the Chakras, by Leia A. Greene. The first is a book dealing with values and spiritual experience and entities. It is not Wiccan or even particularly Pagan, referring to Deity in the masculine/monotheistic form of God; but it does discuss Mother Nature, reincarnation, the circle of life, individuality, self-worth, and visualization in a way that most children would grasp the concepts and benefit. As this is one of the few books I've seen geared specifically towards children, I mention it as a valuable starting point for Pagan families.

Exploring the Chakras is a very small book I ran across. It is not likely to be widely distributed so if you would like a copy, write to: Crystal Journeys Publishing, PO Box 3452, West Sedona AZ 86340 (ISBN #1-880737-03-5). It is about $5. This is a delightful little book written for even very young children to comprehend. It gives very basic, succinct explanations of what chakras are, and how to sense and balance them using color. It gives remarkably useful meditations for children (even the older ones) to understand and feel what is going on in their energy centers. Again, not Wiccan or even Pagan, but a fantastic starting point in teaching your children about energy.

I know that raising our children to a particular consciousness or practice is still a controversial subject. So many of us have very negative connotations associated with being raised into a specific religion. But that doesn't mean we necessarily have to avoid teaching our children anything about our religious, philosophical, or practical experiences. On the contrary, we will teach them, whether we intend to or not. It is our responsibility as parents to do so in a conscious, loving way. These books can be tools to communicate our values, philosophies and practices to our children.

Blessed Be!