NMR ISSUE 31

Abhisheka
An Urban Wicca
Astrological Forecast 31
Caterpiller, Bobcat, Emu & Camel
Charge of the God
Editorial 31
Esoteric Symbology of the Tarot
History is a Lie
Home Schooling
Imagination or Mystical Experience
Letters 31
Magical Flute III The Materials
Orion
Primordial Tones:
The Colors of the Aura
The Dreamer from Lemuria
Where Do the Sacred Fires Burn?

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Pagan Parenting: Home Schooling

By Amanda Cummings

There has been a lot of talk in the news here lately about education for our children. In California (where I live), the voters just defeated a voucher bill that would have given state money to parents who decide to send children to private schools. Similar bills have been seen in other states as well. In addition, more and more parents are opting to keep their children out of school and educate them at home. Understandably, this concerns us as parents, and particularly as Pagans raising children (whether we are actively raising Pagan children, or more passive in our religious instruction to our kids).

I was very happy to see the voucher bill defeated. Since the predominant number of private schools are religious (of one sort or the other), I was not pleased with the idea of state tax money going to support religious institutions. One of the factors contributing to its defeat was a group of Wiccans who publicly stated they would love to see such a piece of legislation pass, so they could receive state funding for a Wiccan school. Nobody batted an eye at the thought of a Klan school receiving state money, but the word Witchcraft got the populace all riled up! It seems they were only willing to authorize state money for socially acceptable private schools, and that was the end of the bill.

As I said earlier, I was not unhappy to see this piece of legislation go down in flames (it was defeated soundly). States should not be subsidizing religious institutions, because of our tradition of separating church and state. Also, private institutions are free from state regulation and do not have to conform to the rules that the public schools have to. For instance, you do no have to hold a credential to teach at a private school. Private schools are free to exercise corporal punishment, use outdated curricula, and teach biased opinion as fact (such as Creationism).

The other alternative that is gaining in popularity now is the idea of home schooling: parents keeping their children out of school altogether and teaching them at home. The arguments made for home schooling all sound loving and reasonable—at first. However, if you stop and think about the logic of home schooling itself, and home schooling particularly as Pagans, you might come to different conclusions.

This is not to say that home schooling is bad, or that it doesn't or can't work. It will have varying degrees of success, and it has its own trade-offs. It also has its own problems—both logistically and practically. It's something that we as parents, and Pagan parents at that, need to consider.

I have never even attempted to school my children. I am not a good teacher. I mentioned this to one of my home schooling friends, and she said, Why? Are you afraid you won't live through it? I said, No, I know I'll live through it? I'm not so sure my children would! And we both had a good laugh. She knew me well and knew what I meant. I know my limitations, and I'm not ashamed of that one of them is in teaching children. I simply don't have the patience to do it all day long.

So, stating that I have no experience at home schooling, yet I'm willing to criticize it, probably has upset those of you who do home school. In my own defense, let me add that I have had long-term personal relationships with 5 different families who do home school, and my praise and criticism stem from my observations of them.

Anyone can home school, but not everyone should. My best girlfriend from high school home schools her 7 children. Two have learning disabilities, two are twins, and they are quite a handful on their best days. My friend is a decent, loving mother. She home schools for religious reasons—the most common reasons for home schooling. She is a Fundamentalist Christian, and thinks the public schools not only fail to provide quality education, but that they are dangerous, liberal and evil. She thinks that the best person to teach a child anything is the child's parent. Unfortunately, she graduated from high school with a D- average. While I don't doubt that she is a good mom (I know she is), I'm not sure I'd want my kids taught by someone who never went to college and had such low grades.

In the state of California, there are requirements to home school. You still have to function with the school district. Your children have to be tested to measure their progress. You must use approved curriculum materials for certain subjects. One of my other acquaintances who home schools has a learning disabled child. The parents refuse to accept this. The child is emotionally immature (the child is almost 9 and behaves at about a 6-year-old level). When he was attending public school, his teacher expected him to be responsible to do his homework; when he didn't, the teacher penalized him. The child became very upset and went home and pitched a laying-in-the-floor-kicking-and-screaming fit about how mean his teacher was to him. His parents immediately pulled him out of public school to home school him. The child is tested on a regular basis, and is consistently below his grade level. He spends his day sitting in front of the TV playing the video games his parents bought him for Christmas, while his mother sleeps (she works nights). Other times he is left alone. He receives little or no formal education at all.

A family down the street home schools their children. These girls are very bright, and the mother (it almost always is the mother teaching in home schooling families) sets up school in the house and is very disciplined about it. They go monthly with other home schooling families on field trips, or picnics. This is to compensate for the lack of socialization that is endemic to home schooling. The problem is that socializing outside the home once a month is insufficient for most children to acquire social skills. Eventually, these children were not allowed at my house because they could not behave considerately to each other or my children. Their social skills were limited to how they treated family members. (And we all know you treat the folks you live with worse than anybody else—must be because they love you so much!)

On the other hand, the advantages to home schooling are certainly many. Learning disabled children can receive individual attention. Children may proceed at their own pace, pursuing their own interests. They can have more flexible schedules, and spend more time with their families (and extended families, too). And we parents are able to incorporate our values and religious beliefs into the teaching program. Home schoolers believe they protect their children from damaging standardized testing and competitiveness in teaching styles and in the classroom.

However, education is not measured solely by the amount of information children can absorb. One of the most important things schools do is prepare children to function in society. It is important to learn how to stand in line, how to wait your turn, how to follow instructions. It is necessary to expose children to others people who are not family, because they have to learn how to interact on a peer level, and how to deal with authority figures who are not mom. Children need to learn when it is appropriate to express what is on their mind and when it is not. These are the things that lay a foundation for healthy development into adults.

When it comes to teaching things like self-esteem, values and religious training, these are things that have always been done best at home. If you want to minimize damage from standardized testing, or arbitrary grades, don't go ballistic because the child gets a C or is only in the 60th percentile. The important things are: How hard did you try? Did you do all the work?

When I was a kid, I always got A's (and maybe a B or two). My sister always got C's (with a couple B's). I inevitably got in trouble for my B's and she got praised for her B's and C's. Why? Because, my parents knew that schoolwork came easy to me. A `B' for me meant I wasn't doing anything. I could get B's on my test scores alone. My sister, on the other hand, had to struggle to get C's, and B's meant extra effort on her part. Consequently, I got busted with B's and she got parties. That was because my parents focused on what the effort was, and not what the teacher said it was worth. When parents react in this manner, they teach children what is important. They impart values by their own example. When they value the grade, and not the effort, they devalue their children's attempts and discourage them.

When dealing with religion, particularly an alternative religion like Wicca, religious instruction and values are taught at home and incorporated into everyday experiences, like school, work, and other social experiences where it is appropriate. Home schoolers who keep children out of school for religious reasons are by and large trying to isolate and indoctrinate children into the parents' way of thinking. Other religions almost mandate this kind of control. In Pagan circles, the more broad the experiences, the more information children have to determine for themselves which spiritual path is for them, when it is appropriate. Thus, keeping children from interacting in society can limit the information upon which they base their decisions.

But let's take this a step further. Let's say someone would set up a Pagan or Wiccan private school. What would be taught that would be any different from a regular public school? OK? There would be religion. But what religion? Which tradition? Whose curriculum? There could be tons of conflict, just about this! What else would be different? Two plus two would still be four. OK it could be two athames plus two athames, but the principle would still be the same. How much different would the environment be, and can that be compensated at home? Would the teachers still behave the same towards the students? (I think so.) We could also teach and value women's contributions to history and literature.

The biggest difference would be on a social level. Our children would be able to celebrate the Holidays with like-minded children, and be supported by like-minded teachers. They could interact with children who shared the experience of being raised in a Pagan household. On the other hand, as all other children in all other private schools, they would be isolated from the rest of their peers and culture. The attitude of superiority (and inferiority) stemming from this isolation is, I believe, a dubious benefit at best.

And of course the final consideration, the most basic concern, is the quality of education. Until private education can compete with the equipment and facilities available to the current public system, the quality of education is going to suffer as well. I grew up in private religious schools all my life. I was always told that the quality of education was better in private schools (for various reasons). When my youngest sister went through private school she was told the same thing. However, she decided not to continue and transferred herself to a public school (without telling my mother until a week before school started!). Not only did she find the work more difficult and the teachers more demanding (if she put out the effort), she found herself conducting her physics experiments with a real laser! I know of no private school around (even the nonreligious prep-schools) that had such resources.

We as parents have an obligation to our children, our culture and the future to give our children the kind of education that will benefit them most. It is up to each of us to decide which forums for educating our children are to their advantage, and which are detrimental. My children attend the neighborhood public school. I have been pleased with their teachers over the years. It has a multi-cultural body of students. They learn to respect their world and each other. My religious convictions do not conflict with what is being taught, and my children are taught at home how these concepts work together. For me and my household, this works as well as I can imagine. Your experience may be different. Please try to be as informed as you can and decide with your children's best interests at heart. How can you do otherwise when you look at your children's open, inquisitive little faces?

Blessed Be!