NMR ISSUE 25

Astrological Forecast 25
Athena
Badger
Beltane Mystery Play
Ceremonial Magicians
Editorial 25
Eternally Dressed in Green
Fifty Gates of Understanding
Folklore of Ancient Egypt
Heritage and Faith The Ultimate Wiccan Possessions
Letters 25
My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma
My Loving Goddess
Negative Emotions
On the Fairies Defending Decent Creatures
Solitary Solstice
The Success Cube
Things

Articles
Authors
Rituals
Book Reviews
NMR Issues
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Heritage and Faith:
the Ultimate Wiccan Possessions

Valerie G.

Having recently started reading New Moon Rising and similar magazines, every word brings me closer to the realization and acceptance I have been seeking since the age of 8, when I was fully aware of being different. I've always done things differently and thought differently than most people I know. I have encountered an occasional fellow Wiccan, and become very close to the few I have met. There has always been that immediate bond, that closeness that I have not had with any non-Wiccan. The mental electricity is there.

As a young child, I remember my Mother having various occult books and doing rituals. She discouraged me at that age from reading her books. Fortunately, she never noticed that I would sneak out in the night and read them in bed with a flashlight under the covers. When I was in my teens I started openly reading them. She didn't say anything, but I did get that look. She never stopped me, but I could tell she wished I wasn't so curious.

We lived in an apartment when I was 8, and one incident that occurred there was the turning point for both my Mother and me. Unfortunately, we went different directions. My Mother had been performing a ritual where she had a mixture of substances that she would sprinkle on the windows and doors as she chanted to keep out evil, particularly burglars, and bad company in general. I remember her acting embarrassed about doing it. She kind of laughed at one point; her conviction was not very true. She felt the urge to follow traditions, but lacked the faith in her own abilities and heritage. That same day, while we were out shopping, just 2 hours later, we arrived home to find the cops, a broken down door and many missing possessions. My Mom interpreted this to mean that our heritage was negative, evil. What she failed to recognize was her disbelief of her own abilities. Had she been true to herself and her heritage, this would not have happened.

My memories of this incident have kept me faithful in all I do. To me, it was a sign that she did have ability, she just had to learn faith. This was not lost on me. If I am in a period of doubting, I don't do anything to question or test myself. I simply wait for it to pass and wait until I feel secure again in my being.

After this incident I was always ignored when I brought up any occult topic. I have always led an undirected, free flowing Wiccan lifestyle. I have not been fortunate enough to meet any Wiccan who belongs to a group or fully understands our essence. All my realizations have come by trial and error. I wish my Mother had stayed true to her heritage. I have traced my roots back to families who were actively pursuing their heritage. This practice seemed to end in the late 1800's and only mildly surfaced with my Mom's family. Now, as the only child, I am the only one left. I have unknowingly raised my two children as a true Wiccan would, and I am glad. I hope that our heritage will remain alive in them. We are a very private family and although we don't find that my husband has any Wiccan roots, he is very open and receptive. His only misconception is that I am supposed to prove my Wiccan ancestry and bend a fork or something like that! He is still waiting, over six years now. I know he will be enlightened, and soon. I have told him there has been proof, but in subtle ways. Some day when something occurs to enlighten him, he will see that there was proof all along. I imagine there are some that would say I was wrong for marrying out of my heritage, but for me there were no options.

I have always used my mental strength to influence situations, people and the future. I have been successful at everything I put my mind to do. There have been very serious occurrences in my life where my strength has been the only thing that pulled me through. There were marital problems, the birth of a child with a heart defect, that child's open heart surgery, beating the odds by having a normal delivery after having had a Cesarean Section, life threatening pregnancies, unemployment, poverty, the loss of a grandparent. Some of these things could have had very negative outcomes, but through extensive meditation and visualization, I have made the outcome positive.

I wish I had some people around me, especially family members, with whom to share all this with, but I don't. I have the heritage and I have the faith, and for now that is enough. Should my horizons broaden, I will welcome it. I do believe realization of self comes more quickly when minds work together. It is always helpful to get other viewpoints. For those who are just realizing themselves, and those who have been in realization for some time, remember it is your faith that makes you strong. If others doubt you it is not important. Your heritage holds you close, and if there are others of the same heritage around you, it is of great benefit.

Here is something to say for strength:

I am alone
But I am all
I hold the world
in my hand
It is mine.

I am believing
I am the belief
I am what I choose to be
The belief is me.

Controlling my life
Changing the world around me
Not changing around the world.

I am all that is
The good, the evil
The poor, the rich
All that is, is me.

Strength is virtue
Virtue is life
Life is yours
You are Life.