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A Solitary Talk
Scott Cunningham
I receive dozens of letters each month from Solitary Wiccans who seek training or contact with covens. The vast majority of these persons feel that making such contacts is absolutely vital to the practice of their religion. Most state that they're not sure of what they're doing and need guidance. A few are experienced Solitary Wiccans who simply want to join a coven; but the majority are convinced that, unless they receive training from another Wiccan, their hands are tied—they can't practice Wicca. Many are so bold as to ask me to give them a list of the names, addresses and phone numbers of the covens in their areas (something that I would never do).
Clearly, something is wrong here.
That's a strong statement, so let me clarify it: The outer forms of Wiccan practice can indeed be learned from the instructions of others. However, these are the outer forms alone. Concentrating all your attention on having the right tool in the right hand, casting a perfect circle and correctly timing your rituals can quickly stifle spirituality. These outer forms are important, for they, in part, define our religion of Wicca. Still, they're merely the path that leads us to the Goddess—they aren't the Goddess Herself.
What's happening inside us when we perform these rituals is far more important than the rituals themselves. The rites, tools and chants are there to serve us; we do not serve them.
Getting caught up in the physical aspects of Wicca is a common trap. The new Solitary Wiccan may read book after book, becoming more confused as each page passes before their eyes. Then, while attempting to perform a ritual, the student may give up, certain that nothing is happening as it should; that the ritual isn't real Wicca.
This is quite common. If this is happening to you, I have a few suggestions:
1) Use a minimum of tools for a while: a candle, a bowl of water, a bowl of salt, and a knife. Burn incense if you wish. Use these tools in meaningful ways (every Wiccan book includes instructions) but get on with the focus of the ritual: connecting with the Goddess and God (or the Goddess). Don't worry whether your ritual is correct. Don't fret that your tools aren't the most beautiful. Simply allow the rite to enrich your spirituality. Once you've successfully done several rituals with a few tools, add the others as you see fit, but don't become bogged down with this entire occult cutlery. (After all, though we usually use knives, forks and spoons while eating, it's perfectly possible to eat without them.)
2) Realize that, unlike the religion of your childhood, our religion cannot be learned: it can only be experienced. In many religions, adherents are taught what to believe. In Wicca, our beliefs usually lead us to our religion.
3) Realize that Wiccans agree on very little. What may be seen as correct ritual by one Wiccan would be incorrect in the eyes of another. This is confusing only when we attempt to make our rituals acceptable to all Wiccans—an impossibility. Make your rituals acceptable to yourself, for this is most important.
4) Find a set of rituals that seems appropriate. If necessary, change them. Once you've established your ritual base, use it for a year. Work out the bugs. It's important to have a foundation upon which to base your Solitary practice. Even if you change the Beltane rite each year, you can enjoy the security of that ritual structure.
I'll be the first to admit that being a Solitary Wiccan isn't always easy. Neither is being a coven member. Both present challenges and both can be a joy. Only we as individuals can decide what's right for us.
Still, I would caution you from believing that you need lessons right now simply because you're confused in ritual. If you do become confused, simplify your rituals. Less is often more in Wicca.
Continue to look for a coven or a teacher if you wish. But I'll leave you with one lesson: refusing to practice Wicca because you lack training indicates a lack of motivation and brings into question your seriousness.
Trust yourself. Search your feelings. Use fewer tools, if necessary. And just do it.
1992 by Scott Cunningham. All rights reserved. | 
